Thanks to Lorri for braving the WordPress interface and putting out that last blog entry. Well done!

I did indeed lose my internet access over the past three days. I initially did not know whether this was in any way related some other notable lacks around here. We have had little or no fresh foods for the past week, and certain packaged things disappeared from the DFAC as well (Gatorade, which is an Army staple—fortunately, I have a few squirreled away in my canister); the mail service has also been “out” for a couple of days (Monday and Tuesday). This may be (and probably is) all coincidence, but sometimes at work when we have a few free moments we have nothing better to do than speculate as to why things are not going exactly the way they “always” do. At any rate, mail delivery resumed today (two boxes from Lorri, woo-hoo!, plus a Wall Street Journal!), and they tell me the mess hall had good, plentiful, fresh chow. (I did not get to mess hall today—had a sick patient show up right before lunch, and we treated her through lunch break.) Internet is back up now (obviously), though I still don’t have an explanation for that one.

Some random thoughts for you. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I really like the numbers thingie, like this:

1. When military people speak, the word “Sergeant” is never fully pronounced (as is is in the movies, like “sar-gent”), except by those who are not “in the know” (i.e., newly-deployed medical corps types—fortunately, I figured this one out years ago). Instead, it is pronounced “Sar-int” or even just “Sarnt.” Efficient, as it cuts out a syllable.
2. The braintrust at Al Asad (not Army folks) have deemed it illegal to go anywhere outside of one’s container, unless one is wearing either the P.T. uniform (issued Army t-shirt and regulation shorts), or else the ACU (the new, digital all-terrain fatigues). This rule works much better for the Marines, who do not have a prescribed P.T. uniform, and just wear some greenish stuff. But for the Army people, it is annoying, and for those few of us who are LDS, it really creates a problem, because a certain part of our day-to-day clothing simply does not jive well with the Army PT uniform. So, I have had three options: 1) wear my big, bulky ACU uniform (with boots) everywhere I go (not practical, for many reasons; 2) wear my PT uniform without the LDS-specific clothing; or 3) break the rules. Option #3 has worked well for me so far, since I outrank everyone within a reasonable distance of me (except LTC Bullock, who is not exactly a stickler). I end up wearing other (non-issue) shorts, and an Army t-shirt when I am just putzing around the cans, and I put on my ACUs when I go anywhere.
3. In addition, we can’t go to the mess hall in the P.T. uniform which means that I can’t go from work to home, change my clothes and go the gym (about 1/2 mile from my can), and then go across the street to the mess hall after the gym. You might think that this avoids having sweaty gym-goers in the mess hall, but this is sadly not the case. The Marines actually wear their ACUs to the gym (boots and all) and then drag their pit-stained bodies over to eat afterwards. You can keep the sweaty guy out of the mess, but you can’t keep the…aww nevermind, that’s not working.
4. If you, like me, don’t feel that you are in your best possible shape, then it may be really depressing for you (as it is for me) being out here surrounded by a bunch of 20-somethings and a few highly-motivated 30-somethings. I have done nothing but run, bike (14 miles on Saturday!), treadmill, do the elliptical, lift weights, etcetera since I got here, but 90% of people are still in better shape than I am. Far better. The other 10%? They’re called “civilians.”
5. Presiding Bishop Richard Edgeley recent gave a talk at BYU on the prophet Joseph Smith, in which he announced that the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints has moved into fourth place in American religions with regard to the number of members. This is amazing to me, but all the more amazing when I realize how very little the people here with me know about the church. Even the guy from Arizona doesn’t seem to know anything about us. Strange.
6. Someday, SOMEDAY, I will get the nerve up to tell you about the toilets here. That has been a real education for me. Nothing the Army taught us had prepared any of us for the psychological trauma we would go through here, just trying to find a place to answer nature’s call.
7. I am very glad to hear that Lisa, Adam and family made it out of the Maui airport alive. Unbelievable luck, heading to Hawaii on Aloha the very week that Aloha declares bankruptcy. (It leaves me wondering if the Aloha people all stood up in the airport at once and yelled out “WE……DECLARE……BANKRUPTCY!”)
8. (WARNING: No Iraq content.) My mom wrote in one of the comments about a salty fish that Grandpa Johnston used to eat. My curiosity got the best of me (being a fan of gross, salty things) and I looked it up and found that “Blind Robin” is a chemically-altered dried herring snack. One of the sites claimed that it is dried “on a dashboard,” which sounds just perfect to me. This made me understand a little more why grandpa had that triple bypass, and also made me glad that I wasn’t raised in the midwest, where such things are allowed to exist. Then, while scrolling down the page, looking at regional foods, I came across this wonderful example of good old fashioned southern cuisine, available at your local Piggly:

Makes me proud to be a Southerner. Love the “serving suggestion” there (eggs ‘n’ brains), and the fact that they advertise the “milk gravy,” as if that is a great selling point. Of note: contains just 1,350% recommended daily allowance of cholesterol (not making that up). Grab the can opener, Lurlene!

Finally, my prayers go out to my friends and brothers-in-arms in Baghdad who are being shelled daily, Jeff Passey and Bob Vigersky among them. I have met a number of people here who have close relatives—including brothers, sisters, husbands—over there, and have yet to hear from them. Tough times, and my heart goes out to each of you.

That’s it for tonight; got some interesting medical cases to tell you about soon, and thoughts on our unique water supply at Al Asad.

Godspeed, and thanks for worrying about me,

Erik 

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We are experiencing technical difficulties….or a high volume of callers…wait time is…indefinite and thank you for calling.

Actually Erik asked me to post this last night and it took me a while to figure out how. He is w/o any access-at least any reliable internet at the moment. He is fine. There are some technical or strategic reasons why there is currently no internet from Al Assad. Please come back and check frequently.  Erik should be back on board soon.

Thanks for your continued interest.

Erik and family.