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Posted by Erik Rupard on June 14th, 2008
I am sitting, happy as a clam in my little plastic shell. It is 11:21 PM, and I have a rare opportunity tonight to watch a live Red Sox game—a day game to you, but late-night for me. I won’t make it through the whole thing. Probably won’t want to: Tim Wakefield and a Manny-free, Ortiz-less Sawx versus Edinson Volquez probably spells “L” for my boys. Still, with my Crystal Light lemonade on the desk next to my bed (thanks Barry and Ellen!), and my Maranatha Almond Butter (thanks mom and dad) and some Ritz Crackers, and life is just good. A few topics to write about this week, in no particular order:
Friendly Crustaceans
Today is the Army’s birthday (233rd, I believe), and we celebrated today with a grand feast for lunch. The menu included prime rib, breaded shrimp, Martinelli’s sparkling grape juice, and lobster tails. These were not some mini one-ounce tails, or chunked/formed lobster meat. They were nice, big six-to-eight ounce babies, and they gave us two of them each. You could negotiate more, too: the big dude in front of me in line ended up with about six after sweet-talking the Iraqi server for a few seconds. Not too shabby. They tell me that the 4th of July will be an even bigger, better meal. You’ll read about it here first.
Mine Tastes Like Leukemia…
The water here is getting worse and worse tasting. Here’s the dilly: I have mentioned in the past that we drink bottled water all of the time, and that the bottles are kept in big pallets on street corners throughout Al Asad. Well, as the weather gets warmer, those bottles get really, really hot during the day, and I think the heat causes some of the chemicals which make up the bottle to leach into the water, which makes it taste kind of like drinking hospital air. Because of this, when new water bottles are put out (distinguishable by the lack of a dusty sheen on the plastic wrap), all of us scramble to get the “fresh” ones, sometimes digging deep into the pile to pick out a less-tainted twelve-pack. But we often have to make do with the funky water, so we flavor the stuff with Crystal-Light-type mixes or Gatorade powders (supplied by the DFAC), which does indeed cover up the bad taste. Still, one has to wonder how much DNA is being damaged with every chemical-laden sip.
A Rush Of Blood To The Noggin
Today while playing some basketball on a very small half-court, I had a head-on-head collision with SPC Hert who is a big, muscular guy. Both of us saw stars for a moment, and I felt a bit wobbly afterwards for the rest of the game. Later, as I was taking a shower, I felt the big mushy lump over my right temple where Hert’s nose had bashed into me. I continue to feel a tiny bit nauseous, and a tad Alzheimery, and wonder if I may have been slightly concussed during the collision. Don’t worry, mom: if I have any symptoms tomorrow, I’ll get checked out by a doctor. (Other than myself.)
Russert
I’m surprised at how sad I am about the sudden death yesterday of Tim Russert, the “Meet The Press” guy. I’m not usually much affected by the death of “celebrities.”However, if you have read this blog much, you probably know that I am a political junkie, and thus have been “watching” (podcasting, actually) Russert’s show for many years. I liked Russert quite a bit—he seemed to have a genuine “everyman” quality about him. As opposed to many of the talking heads, he went after politicians on both sides equally and fairly. In flipping through the channels tonight, I saw tributes to Russert from people ranging from Dick Cheney to Barack Obama—political polar opposites if ever there were any. Sunday mornings (afternoons here) haven’t been the same since David Brinkley died; Russert’s untimely demise will have a similar effect, and of course his passing at such a young age (58) is truly a tragedy for his family members. My heart goes out to them.
Well, that’s all I’ve got tonight, kids. Wakefield is holding his own against the whiz kid, with the Sox having somehow eked out three runs against Volquez (wild pitch, error, string-o-singles), and the Sox leading 3-1 in the sixth. See you tomorrow!
June 14th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Nice. We had Moe’s and it wasn’t very good. Call me tomorrow about the pool?
Love you.
June 14th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Master Manipulator Mystical Marsupial Magical Muggle: (this is Maya’s self- claimed handle)
Hey Dad! I heard about the chameleon news! Thank you thank you thank you thank you Thank you thank you thank you thank you and thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. Go onto the website FLChams and look at all the chameleons. I like the veiled, flapneck, and rudis. (You can find veiled and flapneck under “other”.)
Trust me that I won’t ask for another pet except maybe a dog or two. Or three. Maybe even four. Possibly even five! Just Kidding. Oh, Yeah. Prince Caspian was a pretty big disappointment too. No good movies have come out in theatres lately, so you are not missing out at all. only 70-something more days to go!
Bye Daddy, Mwah, love you!
-Master Manipulator Mystical Marsupial Magical Muggle MAYA!
June 15th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
To Master Manipulator Mystical Marsupial Magical Muggle Maya,
When I was a little girl in Kansas, you could buy cameleons at the Kanas State Fair. They were very lime green and had delicate chains around their necks with a safety pin on the end. I think they cost $1.00. You could actually pin them to your shirt and wear them around. Unfortunately none of mine ever reached the average age for cameleons, lasting only 3 or 4 weeks. During that time I fed them turtle food (stinky, dead, dried bugs) and lettuce and kept them in a fish bowl. I took them out occasionally and placed them on red or purple or orange paper to see if they would change colors. Mostly they stayed lime green, or brown if they were cold. Also if you stepped on the tail, it would fall off and regenerate. Some fun, huh! Life was exciting in KS in the 1940’s. Love you, Gram R.
P.S. Lorri, We ate at Moe’s in Shrewsbury and it seemed really good for New England Mexican food, almost as good as Taco Bell.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:21 am
Mom: Lorri is just trying to make me feel better. The real question is: why do you ever eat anywhere else when you have Lenny and Joe’s, Abbots, and that other place that overlooks the ocean?
M7: Veild! Veild! Veild! (I like the googly eyes)
June 16th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Erik,
Hope all is well. Do you need me to send you some water? We have our own spring water here in Old Lyme. It’s called Tompkins Tap, and it is better than any water you can buy. It comes from our own well,, and is delicious.
I hope you got my email about desonate gel for itching. the stuff is fabulous. Get one of you Drs to prescribe it for you, or I will get my Dr. to prescribe it to you and them send it over.
Could you please send me a list like you did for mom and Dad? It is package time again, and I want to get it off before summer hits me with all her, and his demands.
It cost me 82.00 to fill my tank today! I literally screamed when I saw the price. Needless to say, our bikes will get plenty of use this summer. I can’t even afford to pick up my kids from school!
Congrats on your calling. I hope you like it.
We all can’t wait for you to come home. I hope your father’s day wasn’t too lonely for either you or your family. Dad gave a great talk, as usual, hampered only by a really noisy congregation and Dad telling complete strangers about his father and parents that he had never told us. I had the weird emotions of touched, love for dad and his goodness,anger at his reticence to share these lovely bits of knowledge with his own kids, etc, all mixed up. When he said that it had been almost 60 years since he had seen his mother, I lost it and have been bawling ever since.
I saw a great movie the other night, rented of course, rated pg13, called “Lars and the Real Girl”. It truly was one of those indy pictures that makes you wish there was less money and more thought put into movie making these days. It was sweet and touching and funny. all the things a movie should be. Also, thought provoking. I have thought about it a bit today, and it has reminded me of the power of love in all its forms,and it does come in many. As August Boatwright says in “The Secret life of Bees” “it is such a shame that we don’t have more ways to say the word love. You have to use the same word to describe your feelings for Rosaleen that you use to describe how much you enjoy coke and peanuts! We are so limited!” I couldn’t agree more.
Love, in it’s truest form, Melissa
June 16th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I pictured you saying “mine tastes like leukemia” in a ralph wiggum voice and then promptly falling on the floor clutching your stomach.
June 17th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I think we should make a parody for “lazy sunday”
something like this
(its from your point of view)
Busy monday
Wake up in the morning; too soon
Call the fam to see how they doin’
Yo what up ‘pards
Yo daddio whats crackin?
You thinkin what Im thinkin?
Al Asad
Man (Unfortunately) it’s happenin.
But first, my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape.
I’ll hit up my last box and mack up on some cornflakes.
That box was heavy, wonder how much shipping’s costing
I love delivered boxes like McAdams loves Gosling….osling….osling
One! No, Two! No, Three! Soldier’s Dozen!
I told’ja that I’m crazy for these gatorades, cousin!
Yo, where’s the war’?
Baghdad, dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest!
That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best!
True that! Double true! (Couldn’t reasonably rewrite that)
…
Hit the Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
Yo, stop at liberty store.
Daylight giftshop’s overpriced!
I’ve got my camelback
I’m going to pack it up nice.
We don’t want the government to get suspicious!
Dr. Rupard and Al Asad equals crazy delicious.
Yo, reach in my pocket and pull out some dough,
Soldier acted like he never seen a Dinar befo!
It’s all about the al-Haithams baby
Throw the leukemia water in a bag and I’m Ghost like Swayze.
In the Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Al Asad!
June 17th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Brilliant my girl. You’ve made your mother so proud
Actually I am honestly really impressed!
June 17th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
So funny!
June 17th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Maddy, that is one of the most brilliant parodies of a parody which I have ever been blessed to witness. Once again, I am convinced that your talents know little-to-no bounds.
I think you need to do a video with your sisters, now!
Love ya kiddo, you nut case!
Erik
June 17th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Dad, its so what i was thinking of doing!
June 18th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Maddy,
Help!
I have absolutely no idea what you were saying! I hate being a middle -aged fart. I don’t know what you are making a parody of, and for that ignorance, of which I am truly ashamed, I apologize. Tell me what it means!! Right now!! I hate being out of the loop of today’s culture and I find that I am more and more.Give me some translation, girl.
Hey brother’o'mine, I sure do miss you. Keep in touch, and know that we pray for you daily. Your name was mentioned on the radio today. If you care to know more about this, feel free to ask. Hope you get your transport.
Love to you, Mit
June 19th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Hey Aunt Melissa! Sure, i’ll bring you in the loop =].
This was an SNL short from like two years ago that is often quoted daily in our family. Hilarious, especially if you are familiar with old beastie boys rap videos. Here’s the link.
http://www.yikers.com/video_snl_narnia_rap.html
Of course I parodied this with my dad’s situation in Iraq.