You might be a deployed soldier if:

-You have recently dusted your refrigerator. The inside of your refrigerator.
-You feel guilty that you only worked out twice today.
-Every item of footwear in your possession is made of brown suede.
-You frequently get up at 4 AM to watch live sporting events.
-You don’t know the first names of any of your co-workers.
-You occasionally don’t know the sex of your co-workers.
-The person making your Subway sandwich laughs when you ask for tomatoes.
-You drank 2 liters of water in the past three hours.
-You have a favorite flavor of Crystal Light.
-Your favorite “mall” is actually a tent.
-In the past month, you have not gone beyond a 1-mile radius of your bedroom.
-You frequently conjugate the word “Skype.”
-The most fuel-efficient vehicle in which you have ridden lately is a Hummer.
-Ounce-for-ounce, you consume more ibuprofen than carbohydrates.
-That guy on your ID card looks a bit like you, but 40 pounds heavier.
-You have recently taken a “shower” with nothing but baby wipes.
-You own 17 pairs of prescription sunglasses.
-You can say the phrase “more bacon, please” in perfect arabic.
-Today you accidentally “slept in” until 0445.
-You know 5000 jokes about Chuck Norris.
-You actually like Chuck Norris.
-You can quote lines from five different gladiator movies.
-In making decisions, you frequently ask yourself “What would Jack Bauer do?”
-Your preacher carries a 9-mm.
-You never raise your thermostat above “18.”
-You consider cheese-flavored microwave popcorn a two-course meal.
-You are beginning to see the artistic value in rap music.
-When you sneeze, orange dust comes out.