As The Sparks Fly Upward

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    ...about the day-to-day adventures of MAJ Erik Rupard, working as a physician in a Troop Medical Clinic in Iraq, during 2008. It is presented as a diary, in chronological order, but feel free to start anywhere.

    I'd like to express my gratitude and appreciation to the fine soldiers of the 581st ASMC who kept me alive, happy, and well-fed throughout my time in Al Asad.

    If you are a former or current 581st member and you want to reach out to me or any of the others, head on over to Facebook, and search for Erik Rupard. Talk with you soon!

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« Strange Things Are Afoot At The TMC
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With Apologies To Jeff Foxworthy

Posted by Erik Rupard on June 29th, 2008

You might be a deployed soldier if:

-You have recently dusted your refrigerator. The inside of your refrigerator.
-You feel guilty that you only worked out twice today.
-Every item of footwear in your possession is made of brown suede.
-You frequently get up at 4 AM to watch live sporting events.
-You don’t know the first names of any of your co-workers.
-You occasionally don’t know the sex of your co-workers.
-The person making your Subway sandwich laughs when you ask for tomatoes.
-You drank 2 liters of water in the past three hours.
-You have a favorite flavor of Crystal Light.
-Your favorite “mall” is actually a tent.
-In the past month, you have not gone beyond a 1-mile radius of your bedroom.
-You frequently conjugate the word “Skype.”
-The most fuel-efficient vehicle in which you have ridden lately is a Hummer.
-Ounce-for-ounce, you consume more ibuprofen than carbohydrates.
-That guy on your ID card looks a bit like you, but 40 pounds heavier.
-You have recently taken a “shower” with nothing but baby wipes.
-You own 17 pairs of prescription sunglasses.
-You can say the phrase “more bacon, please” in perfect arabic.
-Today you accidentally “slept in” until 0445.
-You know 5000 jokes about Chuck Norris.
-You actually like Chuck Norris.
-You can quote lines from five different gladiator movies.
-In making decisions, you frequently ask yourself “What would Jack Bauer do?”
-Your preacher carries a 9-mm.
-You never raise your thermostat above “18.”
-You consider cheese-flavored microwave popcorn a two-course meal.
-You are beginning to see the artistic value in rap music.
-When you sneeze, orange dust comes out.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at 3:10 pm and is filed under Iraq. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “With Apologies To Jeff Foxworthy”

  1. Dad Rupard Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Erik: This is hilarious. Do more!

  2. drew Says:
    June 30th, 2008 at 5:39 am

    haha Dad I cracked up at all of them! You really do like rap music now? Just kidding, lol.

  3. Christian Says:
    June 30th, 2008 at 8:11 am

    Those are hilarious! And to make it 5001 Chuck Norris jokes: When Chuck Norris jumps of a bridge he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
    see ya!

  4. Becky T. Says:
    July 4th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    This is FUNNY!!!! You should seriously try to get this blog published when you come back!!!!
    Love Becky T.

    P.s What is your favorite flavor of crystal lite????? ( We are making care packages for you and other people @ young woman’s meeting soon!! Shhhh….. don’t tell anyone, it may still be a suprise :)

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